Bebe Buell and baby Liv Tyler.

Dudes and dudettes, I most definitely have food poisoning. I gobbled down some disease-carrying fettucini alfredo and my stomach is none too pleased. I've been throwing up a bit every hour on the hour. That's okay, however, because it gives me an excuse to put off my work (thinking = no fun) and look up celebrity photos!

  First off, I'm sad I missed Britney Spears' "comeback" performance at House of Blues. I heard she lip-synced her way through the whole thing. I guess the Spears is back! I cannot wait till she releases her new CD. I think the public is fascinated with Brit because they secretly love her. Unlike Lindsay Lohan, who we just want to see crash and burn, I feel that people are wishing for Brit to get better. As messed up as she is, I believe she is a good person at heart. I hope she gets her shit together soon. And a Michael Jackson comeback would be awesome, as well. Just throwing that out there.

Now that it is officially spring in New York, I've been in such a great mood. I feel people are always nicer when the sun is out, and you feel like no matter how shitty things are going, tomorrow is going to come and things are gonna be alright. I've made a "Springtime" mixed CD that I listen to while running errands or just walking around. It has a lot of stuff by the Rolling Stones, the Byrds, and old Motown groups like the Shirelles and Martha Reeves and the Vandellas. I think that Motown music might just be my favorite kind, ever. 

Along with general happiness comes endorphin-induced shopping trips. I've been wearing a lot of white lately; it's my new favorite color. You just feel so clean and ethereal wearing it. Like a true New Yorker, I love black, but lately white has been taking the cake. I'm on the hunt for a simple white dress with pockets. I'm going to Europe for the first time this summer and it'll be my European uniform. I need something light and airy, and I feel like this A.P.C. dress is perfect:

Kudos to the awesome girl behind Le Portillon for bringing it to my attention. I fell HARD.

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  • Current Music
    Rolling Stones - "She's a Rainbow"

Baby Sunshine.

How cute is Sunny Balzary?

Also, one year ago today I spent three hours with the Red Hot Chili Peppers.


  • Current Music
    The Pierces - "Secret"

I'm Just a Teenage Dirtbag, Baby.

I want to know: Was dressing like a stinky hipster a requirement at this year's Coachella Music Festival? I mean, really. 

It's so sad; I used to be Lindsay Lohan's biggest fan. I could take the debauchery because deep-down, like Robert Downey, Jr. or even Tom Cruise, I knew she had talent to make up for it. Well, four mediocre movies and a disgusting manicure later (opaque white nail polish?), I'm so over her ass. I hope she gets some real help soon. She needs to realize she's NOT our generation's answer to Elizabeth Taylor. It embarrasses me to read the comments in her interviews and articles now. 

Lindsay wasn't the only one who was channeling Cory Kennedy... and failing miserably. Check out the hideous styles sported by Drew, Cameron, Mischa, and Jessica Alba. This isn't Woodstock '07, ladies.

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Now that the fug's over, we can focus on the pretty. What better way to do that than with 20-something Johnny Depp? Someone capped Cry-Baby and I could not be more grateful. 

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I know I do these posts all the time, but given that fashion is such a dynamic industry and new top girls are always coming up, I'm gonna go there again:


 Let's do this!

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  • Current Music
    Kings of Leon - "Velvet Snow"

They Call Her Stam.


She turns 21 today, but I bet you she wasn't holding her breath to have her first drink or anything. 

Stam is my favorite model of the moment, maybe even of all time. Not to mention the bitch has the best Marc Jacobs bag named after her! With her spooky gray-blue cat eyes, bow-shaped lips, pert little nose, and sassy attitude, she is one of the most versatile and in-demand catwalkers working today. 

Recently, Vogue proclaimed her one of the "top models" of the moment, and she even got to strut her stuff for both Victoria's Secret and those hags over at The Today Show

I can't wait to see what she does next. 

(May I suggest a reunion with Anthony Kiedis?)

"I make clothes look good."

  • Current Music
    Smog - "Rock Bottom Riser"

Filthy Directors and Filthy-Minded Actors...

... these are just a couple of my cravings. 

Everything it seems I like's a little bit stronger, a little bit thicker, a little bit harmful for me...

Sound the alarm, ring up your favorite serial killer, bake a vomit cake:


He turns 61 on this trashtastic day. 

What can I say about John Waters that hasn't already been said countless times by people wiser and more fabulous than I? William S. Burroughs declared him "the Pope of Trash," and I couldn't have put it better. 

If you haven't seen a JW movie, I would recommend Female Trouble. You can't go wrong with the classics like Pink Flamingos and Hairspray, either. 

Also, a very happy birthday to my favorite son-of-a-bitch, Jack Nicholson, who turns 70. 

Did you guys doubt me when I told you all the crazies were born in April?

"I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty."

  • Current Music
    Rufus Wainwright - "Cigarettes & Chocolate Milk"

Don't Wanna Think About It (No), Don't Wanna Talk About It (No)...

Go, Speed Racer, go, Speed Racer, go, Speed Racer, go!

I used to love this show as a kid. It was my mom's favorite cartoon also. Last week, I learned one of my favorite young actors, Emile Hirsch, is going to play Speed in the new movie adaptation the Wachowski brothers (The Matrix) are doing. As a bonus, Christina Ricci and her fivehead will be playing Trixie, Speed's foxy girlfriend. (Man, I'd love to have a name like Trixie.)

This is Emile in case some of you don't know what he looks like:

You better get acquainted fast because homeboy is going to be a huge star, Tom Cruise-style. He's got the chops, he's got the charisma. If he wasn't 4'10, I'd say he's got the looks too, but you can't win them all. 

Hollywood has been so boring lately. We found out who Anna Nicole's babydaddy was, Lindsay Lohan is out of rehab but not flashing her kitty-cat like we want her to, Britney Spears is acting relatively normal, and we're beginning to get flooded with advertisements for this summer's blockbusters.

Personally, I'm not into that sort of thing unless Steven Spielberg is directing, so I'm not pissing my pants in anticipation over Spider-Man 3 or anything like that. However, I must say, WTF @ Shia Labeouf's very prominent endorsement of the Strokes in the Transformers trailer:


Anyways, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to PRINCESS SURI CRUISE, who turns 1 (!!!) today! 

Aw, I remember my first birthday. My mom video-taped it and I was biting all my party guests.

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This week has been nuts. The soundtrack to this week is Justin Timberlake's "What Goes Around" because that's all my neighbor seems to be playing. I went from knowing only the chorus to all three verses and the interlude. Last week it was Lauryn Hill, and the week before that it was Regina Spektor. I wonder what her musical obsession will be next week. Whatever it is, I'm sure it'll be a huge step up from Lou Bega (which she was enchanted with in 2006). How was I not suicidal last year?

  • Current Music
    Elvis Costello & The Attractions - "B Movie"

Spring Chickens.

Damn, were all the cool people born in April or what? It only faces steep competition from August, which is when Joe Strummer, Tim Burton, Michael Jackson, River Phoenix, Julian Casablancas, Macaulay Culkin, Joseph Alexander, and yours truly were all born. 

A very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to VINCENT GALLO, who turns 46 (LOL) on this marvelous day. I know he is peeing his pants with the excitement of getting one year closer to death.

Also, I've been kinda busy so I haven't been updating as much, but HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY to ROBERT DOWNEY, JR. (April 4th) and ALBERT HAMMOND, JR. (April 9th) and MICHAEL "THE CROTCH" PITT (April 10th). I'm obsessed with all of you and may you all live long and prosperous and debacherous lives. 

"I'm so in love with the United States. Not as a patriot. I'm in love with America like it's my first girlfriend. The geography, the people, the smell, the touch, the taste, the gas stations. I'm madly in love with America. Madly in love. And I was the guy that people used to say, 'He's so European.' I mean, I never felt like that. I don't relate to those monkeys. I just can't relate to them. I'm a super American -- 
Captain America."

  • Current Music
    The Shirelles - "I Met Him On a Sunday"

It's Like My Worst Nightmare.

What the fuck? It's too late for April Fools jokes!


According to KERRANG!, John Frusciante will help Fall Out Boy with their new album because he (and this part especially pains me) "loves their music."

Someone is playing a sick, sick joke on me.


"Red Hot Chili Peppers guitarist, John Frusciante, has been asked to help out on a couple of songs for FALL OUT BOY. The band has started work on their new album after the success of Infinity on High and Joe Trohman sees Frusciante as a key influence for his guitar playing on the next album.
'I've been a Chilis fan since 1991 and John's one of my favourite guitarists of all time,' he added 'The Pepper's management managed to hook me up with John and we chatted. He loves our music which is pretty cool so he agreed to help out on a couple of songs. This is good because he'll help me to become a better guitarist.'"

First Robert Smith and Ashlee Simpson, now this? 

On a happier note, John is going to release a new solo album later this year. I haven't looked forward to something so much since Gallo announced The Brown Bunny!

  • Current Music
    The Cramps - "Drug Train"