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natalie gave me the clap once.

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"You May Be a Square, Natalie, But You're Still a Tramp." [7 18 08]

"I'm so tired of being good."

My journal is about anything and everything in pop culture, with occasional musings about my semi-charmed kind of life. If you are offended by 
cursing, nudity, and hipster bashing, I suggest you click the little "x" on the top right of your screen and get the hell out of here.



New Journal! [6 17 08]
[ mood | cheerful ]


Follow the White Rabbit... [6 9 07]
[ mood | bouncy ]

...onto my NEW BLOG.

No, I won't abandon this old thing (how ever will I get my ohnotheydidnt fix?). However, I do consider blogs to be more "user-friendly" and accessible to the general, non-LJ obsessed public. So a blog it is. Also, I just started it five minutes ago, so look out for new content!

Content will be same old, same old: movies, music, fashion, obsession. It'll be double the pleasure, double the fun. I'll still use this journal so don't delete me. I repeat, DO NOT DELETE ME.


Heebie Jeebies. [6 8 07]
[ mood | cheerful ]

I don't consider myself an expert in the horror film genre, but I pride myself on at least seeing the classics (Rosemary's Baby, Night of the Hunter, Halloween), the underrated ones (The Wicker Man, The Thing), and movies that normal movie-goers haven't even heard about (Cannibal Holocaust, Mother's Day). I'm a big fan of all forms of horror, from psychological to slasher to thriller to gore to plain, schlocky B-movie thrills. My favorite horror movie of all time is probably Stanley Kubrick's The Shining because it combines so many of these elements: for the blood-happy, there are the ax scenes; for the ghost fanatics, the creepy hotel montages; for that one dude into twin fantasies, there are those two creepy little girls dressed in blue (their picture is too terrifying to post, so if you don't know what I'm talking about, Netflix that shit).

The Shining, to me, is probably the creepiest film I have ever seen. Let's begin with the fact that I grew up in hotels, and then take into consideration my fear of (and fascination with) the paranormal. There's one scene in the movie that I think should go down as one of the scariest in celluloid. Forget Jack Nicholson wandering around in a snowy maze trying to kill his own son -- let's talk about that scene in which a frantic Shelly DuVall is going down the stairs and looks into a room only to see a dapper hotel guest receiving a blowjob from a guy in a bear suit. They both look up from what they're doing and stare at her creepily, neither uttering a single word. It's always the unexplainable and totally bizarre that gets me.

So, it comes as no surprise that I'm a fan of Eli Roth. When I saw Cabin Fever (2002) on cable one night, I was excited because I'd heard so many good things about it. "The Return of the Good Horror Flick!" proclaimed one article, while another declared it was "the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre." Roth's film certainly had an interesting premise: young, horny campers go up to a lake only to contract a flesh-eating virus and die one by one. It was the kind of thing that sounded right up my alley, and the scenes of a teenage girl shaving her legs only to find out she was actually shaving off mounds of flesh were certainly enticing. Plus, Cabin Fever differentiated itself from other teen horror movies because it had some funny, droll elements in it: there are hillbillies, some guy dressed in a bunny suit, some karate-chopping kid, some weird talk about pancakes. It was all over the place. While Cabin Fever didn't live up to my expectations (let's face it, nothing can top Texas Chainsaw Massacre as it is the most perfect horror movie ever made), I kept my eye on Eli Roth. He has the right stuff.

When the Quentin Tarantino-produced Hostel came out a few years later, I knew Roth had arrived. Here was a little film made for a couple million that grossed all its money back and then some. I loved it because of the notion that people can just get lured into these murder-for-profit secret societies and find themselves being tortured by wealthy businessmen, just for kicks. I don't know what that says about me, but all I can say is I was screaming and cheering by the time the movie was over (the ending is deeply satisfying). I have not yet seen the sequel, which is out in theaters today, but I'm sure it'll deliver the goods just the same. I can't wait to see the castration scene!

When people dismiss the horror genre as the most troubled, saying that there is no "perfect" horror movie, I am very confused. What would constitute the "perfect" horror movie? To me, a good horror movie is 1) scary 2) disturbing and 3) one that shows on-screen what you can't see (or won't bring yourself to see) in real life. If it's a gory movie, there should be a good balance between internal and external terror. I don't get off on blood just for blood's sake -- there has to be something deeper and more interesting involved.

It's a shame they're remaking so many good horror movies (The Omen, The Hitcher, Psycho), but some remakes I have really enjoyed, such as Zack Snyder's remake of Dawn of the Dead (2004) -- it was hilarious, beautifully filmed, and fucking bloody and scary as hell. It added a new dimension to the original, which is what a remake, at the very least, should set out to do. All in all, a good time at the movies. And just remember, when somebody slags Eli Roth off for being "all guts and no substance," any horror director worth his salt is there to entertain, and entertain well. Be it Hitchcock, Spielberg, Lynch, or even budding little Roth, they just want to show us a good time.

Eat Your Heart Out, Tyra. [6 4 07]
[ mood | cheerful ]


Naomi Campbell is one fierce mama, and if anyone can take an assistant down, it's her. She's just like I am when I'm dancing - lip-syncing all the words, pretending I'm in Vegas when I'm really in my living room, et cetera. You go, girl.

"The good and the bad. Nobody has it all together, so let's not pretend."

The Beth of Me. [5 31 07]
[ mood | curious ]

Beth Ditto of The Gossip is on this week's cover of the NME magazine. Barely a few days old, the image has already created quite a stir over in gossip communities like [info]ohnotheydidnt and even daily newspapers and TV shows. I must admit, when I first saw the cover, I was a bit ruffled by it. My issue wasn't so much that Beth Ditto is overweight and on the cover of a magazine, but that we're supposed to "kiss her ass" just because she's doing a supposedly radical thing, when to me, it really is the same thing as putting a starving Nicole Richie naked on the cover with the same kind of "EAT THIS" attitude. Why do we praise one and criticize the other? Furthermore, I found it degrading that she had to pose nude. Nevermind that she's overweight and we're more accustomed to seeing bikini models on the covers of magazines -- why do females still feel the need to use sexuality as some form of power? Why do they think they will only get attention when naked? Sometimes it's entertaining, as in the style of sleazy Terry Richardson photos, and sometimes it is necessary and even beautiful and artistic. But this is a music magazine, and we're talking about how "cool" Beth Ditto is. Is she only cool because she is always taking her clothes off and telling us to kiss her ass, because people wouldn't expect her to say and do those things? It just screamed "bad taste" to me, and not the loveable John Waters kind. It just seemed all shock and no substance.

However, the issue isn't as black and white as "Beth Ditto is gross" or "Posing naked on magazine covers is gross" or even "Posing naked on magazine covers when you're overweight is gross." I can see how some people would admire it -- heck, even a part of me is amazed she has the balls to do such a thing. You gotta respect that, and I'm glad she has so much confidence. At the same time, I just wish she didn't feel she had to stoop so low to get the attention she deserves just for being her and being a great frontwoman of an interesting band. That's the real press she should be getting, not that she's fat and strips to her skivvies during concerts. Doesn't she see the NME is basically using her to sell more copies? They don't really care about the sort of "statement" she is trying to make, or even about her music. If they did, they would've just let her pose in normal clothing -- unless, of course, the naked thing was her idea.

Then again, I always think, why do I find it okay when I see Iggy Pop stark naked on the cover of a magazine? I don't think he's degrading himself at all; I think he is being a total rock star. His music is sex, so it is only natural for him to be the living, breathing embodiment of the carnal act itself. Why do I not care when men appear in various stages of undress, but feel somewhat disappointed when a woman - regardless of her size - feels she always needs to be the coy little girl hiding her boobs while simultaneously untying her lace panties? Don't get me wrong: sometimes I like to see nudity in magazines, especially fashion magazines. I think the female form is beautiful, and I totally geek out over all that sleazy Victoria's Secret, Playboy bunny stuff. However, I feel that when you're a female musician who is trying to sell first and foremost her music, nudity is not only besides the point but completely unnecessary. I am always juggling between two beliefs: 1) that nudity is unnecessary and 2) that nudity is the ultimate "fuck you," a true mark of rock & roll. I think I will always see-saw between the two. 

Regarding Beth's interview, I haven't read it completely yet, but what I have read I liked. She seems like a very grounded woman and a good friend. I also admire how passionate she is about gay rights (she's a lesbian and is dating a transgendered individual who was born a woman but identifies herself as a man). She's obviously a tough cookie, and her opinions are well-researched and eloquently stated. She makes good points about the "pretty face" backhanded compliment (you know the one -- "Oh, you have a pretty face... (Too bad about the body)"), dieting, and the whole "please others to please yourself" machine. Being a girl who has struggled with weight all my life (and still go through it sometimes), I'm proud that Beth is out there shedding light on matters that are often completely overlooked in the fat vs. skinny debate. Sometimes it's not just about thin being right and fat being wrong -- what happens when you're chubby, even obese, but you're still proud of your body? Are you wrong for thinking that? Must you conform to what society says all the time, just because it's easier that way? The interview made me think, which is rare in this day and age when articles are usually all about kissing the artist's ass and inserting a few of their soundbytes in-between. Definitely a must-read.


2007: A Strokes Odyssey. [5 29 07]
[ mood | proud ]

Julian Casablancas has a sit-down chat with Debbie Harry.


The new Strokes official website is up! The TV set is gone and a snazzy new space console is in its place.

Also, to satisfy your eye candy quotient, an alternate video for "You Only Live Once" can be found HERE.

I know that Warren Fu, the director and webmaster, spent hours slaving away at all of this and I think he did a wonderful job! Enjoy it.

21st Century Hollywood: The New Class (Part One). [5 28 07]
[ mood | amused ]

It doesn't take a highly perceptive person to see that I'm obsessed with Hollywood. By that, I don't mean that I read tabloids, follow Nicole Richie, or anything like that - I genuinely care about good films and fresh, new talent.

I grew up watching actors like Leo DiCaprio and Reese Witherspoon blossom from indie darlings into box-office players and critical successes. Now I get to see the same thing happen to kids I've been familiar with since their days on the Disney lot -- the Joseph Gordon-Levitts, the Shia LaBeoufs, and the Lindsay Lohans (okay, maybe not the Lindsay Lohans, snicker). It warms my heart to know that should Johnny Depp be off in Barbados making Pirates of the Caribbean XXV, Ryan Gosling can just take over. I'm not one for living in the past, and I'm getting very tired of actors playing their personas to death (I'm looking at you, Al Pacino). It's time for a new class to take over.

Thankfully, it seems like a promising bunch.


When You Play With Fire, You're Gonna Get Burned. [5 22 07]
[ mood | giggly ]

Anthony Kiedis and current girlfriend Heather have got a lovely bunch of coconuts...

My love for all things Kiedis will never wane. I just unsurfaced a most dazzling Chili Peppers clip that brings AK's gripping autobiography, Scar Tissue, to life in a big way. You see, in early chapters Anthony vividly describes his punk-rock girlfriend Jennifer Bruce, a Los Angeles club rat who, in his words, "could out-Gwen Stefani Gwen Stefani."

Well, watch what happens in this next clip: During a 1980s performance of Jimi Hendrix's "Foxy Lady," twenty-something Anthony is straddled by a female fan wearing a trenchcoat (and not much else). He, being Anthony Kiedis, kindly accepts the foxy lady's feminine charms. This causes an enraged Jennifer to storm onstage and BEAT BOTH THEIR ASSES.


Damn straight, Jenny ain't no hollaback girl! And my, my, I've never seen Anthony look so sheepish. I love the look on Flea's face at the end. Lulz all around.


Thriller Night! [5 8 07]
[ mood | content ]

The fug was definitely on the loose at the Met's annual Costume Institute Gala. 

I will do a bigger update when I have more time, but for now I leave you with the face of fashion evil, Kiki Dunst:

And the ugly doesn't end there. Just wait till you see her dress!

Up-Chucks. [5 2 07]
[ mood | geeky ]

Bebe Buell and baby Liv Tyler.

Dudes and dudettes, I most definitely have food poisoning. I gobbled down some disease-carrying fettucini alfredo and my stomach is none too pleased. I've been throwing up a bit every hour on the hour. That's okay, however, because it gives me an excuse to put off my work (thinking = no fun) and look up celebrity photos!

  First off, I'm sad I missed Britney Spears' "comeback" performance at House of Blues. I heard she lip-synced her way through the whole thing. I guess the Spears is back! I cannot wait till she releases her new CD. I think the public is fascinated with Brit because they secretly love her. Unlike Lindsay Lohan, who we just want to see crash and burn, I feel that people are wishing for Brit to get better. As messed up as she is, I believe she is a good person at heart. I hope she gets her shit together soon. And a Michael Jackson comeback would be awesome, as well. Just throwing that out there.

Now that it is officially spring in New York, I've been in such a great mood. I feel people are always nicer when the sun is out, and you feel like no matter how shitty things are going, tomorrow is going to come and things are gonna be alright. I've made a "Springtime" mixed CD that I listen to while running errands or just walking around. It has a lot of stuff by the Rolling Stones, the Byrds, and old Motown groups like the Shirelles and Martha Reeves and the Vandellas. I think that Motown music might just be my favorite kind, ever. 

Along with general happiness comes endorphin-induced shopping trips. I've been wearing a lot of white lately; it's my new favorite color. You just feel so clean and ethereal wearing it. Like a true New Yorker, I love black, but lately white has been taking the cake. I'm on the hunt for a simple white dress with pockets. I'm going to Europe for the first time this summer and it'll be my European uniform. I need something light and airy, and I feel like this A.P.C. dress is perfect:

Kudos to the awesome girl behind Le Portillon for bringing it to my attention. I fell HARD.


Baby Sunshine. [5 1 07]
[ mood | artistic ]

How cute is Sunny Balzary?

Also, one year ago today I spent three hours with the Red Hot Chili Peppers.


I'm Just a Teenage Dirtbag, Baby. [4 29 07]
[ mood | amused ]

I want to know: Was dressing like a stinky hipster a requirement at this year's Coachella Music Festival? I mean, really. 

It's so sad; I used to be Lindsay Lohan's biggest fan. I could take the debauchery because deep-down, like Robert Downey, Jr. or even Tom Cruise, I knew she had talent to make up for it. Well, four mediocre movies and a disgusting manicure later (opaque white nail polish?), I'm so over her ass. I hope she gets some real help soon. She needs to realize she's NOT our generation's answer to Elizabeth Taylor. It embarrasses me to read the comments in her interviews and articles now. 

Lindsay wasn't the only one who was channeling Cory Kennedy... and failing miserably. Check out the hideous styles sported by Drew, Cameron, Mischa, and Jessica Alba. This isn't Woodstock '07, ladies.

Now that the fug's over, we can focus on the pretty. What better way to do that than with 20-something Johnny Depp? Someone capped Cry-Baby and I could not be more grateful. 

I know I do these posts all the time, but given that fashion is such a dynamic industry and new top girls are always coming up, I'm gonna go there again:


 Let's do this!



They Call Her Stam. [4 23 07]
[ mood | amused ]


She turns 21 today, but I bet you she wasn't holding her breath to have her first drink or anything. 

Stam is my favorite model of the moment, maybe even of all time. Not to mention the bitch has the best Marc Jacobs bag named after her! With her spooky gray-blue cat eyes, bow-shaped lips, pert little nose, and sassy attitude, she is one of the most versatile and in-demand catwalkers working today. 

Recently, Vogue proclaimed her one of the "top models" of the moment, and she even got to strut her stuff for both Victoria's Secret and those hags over at The Today Show

I can't wait to see what she does next. 

(May I suggest a reunion with Anthony Kiedis?)

"I make clothes look good."

Filthy Directors and Filthy-Minded Actors... [4 22 07]
[ mood | crazy ]

... these are just a couple of my cravings. 

Everything it seems I like's a little bit stronger, a little bit thicker, a little bit harmful for me...

Sound the alarm, ring up your favorite serial killer, bake a vomit cake:


He turns 61 on this trashtastic day. 

What can I say about John Waters that hasn't already been said countless times by people wiser and more fabulous than I? William S. Burroughs declared him "the Pope of Trash," and I couldn't have put it better. 

If you haven't seen a JW movie, I would recommend Female Trouble. You can't go wrong with the classics like Pink Flamingos and Hairspray, either. 

Also, a very happy birthday to my favorite son-of-a-bitch, Jack Nicholson, who turns 70. 

Did you guys doubt me when I told you all the crazies were born in April?

"I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty."

Don't Wanna Think About It (No), Don't Wanna Talk About It (No)... [4 18 07]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Go, Speed Racer, go, Speed Racer, go, Speed Racer, go!

I used to love this show as a kid. It was my mom's favorite cartoon also. Last week, I learned one of my favorite young actors, Emile Hirsch, is going to play Speed in the new movie adaptation the Wachowski brothers (The Matrix) are doing. As a bonus, Christina Ricci and her fivehead will be playing Trixie, Speed's foxy girlfriend. (Man, I'd love to have a name like Trixie.)

This is Emile in case some of you don't know what he looks like:

You better get acquainted fast because homeboy is going to be a huge star, Tom Cruise-style. He's got the chops, he's got the charisma. If he wasn't 4'10, I'd say he's got the looks too, but you can't win them all. 

Hollywood has been so boring lately. We found out who Anna Nicole's babydaddy was, Lindsay Lohan is out of rehab but not flashing her kitty-cat like we want her to, Britney Spears is acting relatively normal, and we're beginning to get flooded with advertisements for this summer's blockbusters.

Personally, I'm not into that sort of thing unless Steven Spielberg is directing, so I'm not pissing my pants in anticipation over Spider-Man 3 or anything like that. However, I must say, WTF @ Shia Labeouf's very prominent endorsement of the Strokes in the Transformers trailer:


Anyways, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to PRINCESS SURI CRUISE, who turns 1 (!!!) today! 

Aw, I remember my first birthday. My mom video-taped it and I was biting all my party guests.

This week has been nuts. The soundtrack to this week is Justin Timberlake's "What Goes Around" because that's all my neighbor seems to be playing. I went from knowing only the chorus to all three verses and the interlude. Last week it was Lauryn Hill, and the week before that it was Regina Spektor. I wonder what her musical obsession will be next week. Whatever it is, I'm sure it'll be a huge step up from Lou Bega (which she was enchanted with in 2006). How was I not suicidal last year?


In a Tom Ford Universe, We Are All Made of Stars. [4 15 07]
[ mood | awake ]


I got back from Saturday Night Live! I take back my "I don't like Shia LaBeouf" comment. That kid's a superstar.

But Avril Lavigne still blows.

Spring Chickens. [4 11 07]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Damn, were all the cool people born in April or what? It only faces steep competition from August, which is when Joe Strummer, Tim Burton, Michael Jackson, River Phoenix, Julian Casablancas, Macaulay Culkin, Joseph Alexander, and yours truly were all born. 

A very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to VINCENT GALLO, who turns 46 (LOL) on this marvelous day. I know he is peeing his pants with the excitement of getting one year closer to death.

Also, I've been kinda busy so I haven't been updating as much, but HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY to ROBERT DOWNEY, JR. (April 4th) and ALBERT HAMMOND, JR. (April 9th) and MICHAEL "THE CROTCH" PITT (April 10th). I'm obsessed with all of you and may you all live long and prosperous and debacherous lives. 

"I'm so in love with the United States. Not as a patriot. I'm in love with America like it's my first girlfriend. The geography, the people, the smell, the touch, the taste, the gas stations. I'm madly in love with America. Madly in love. And I was the guy that people used to say, 'He's so European.' I mean, I never felt like that. I don't relate to those monkeys. I just can't relate to them. I'm a super American -- 
Captain America."

Things, They Have Changed In Such a Permanent Way. [4 5 07]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Life seems unreal, can we go back to your place?

You drink too much; makes me drink just the same.

It's Like My Worst Nightmare. [4 2 07]
[ mood | distressed ]

What the fuck? It's too late for April Fools jokes!


According to KERRANG!, John Frusciante will help Fall Out Boy with their new album because he (and this part especially pains me) "loves their music."

Someone is playing a sick, sick joke on me.


"Red Hot Chili Peppers guitarist, John Frusciante, has been asked to help out on a couple of songs for FALL OUT BOY. The band has started work on their new album after the success of Infinity on High and Joe Trohman sees Frusciante as a key influence for his guitar playing on the next album.
'I've been a Chilis fan since 1991 and John's one of my favourite guitarists of all time,' he added 'The Pepper's management managed to hook me up with John and we chatted. He loves our music which is pretty cool so he agreed to help out on a couple of songs. This is good because he'll help me to become a better guitarist.'"

First Robert Smith and Ashlee Simpson, now this? 

On a happier note, John is going to release a new solo album later this year. I haven't looked forward to something so much since Gallo announced The Brown Bunny!


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